More Than Ever (More Book 3) Read online

  “Your dad?” Richard asked.

  “Yeah. After we first moved in here. I went to leave for work one day, and there was a guy across the street. He just stood there, sort of off to the side, staring toward our front door.”

  Richard’s eyes narrowed.

  I shook my head. “It wasn’t him.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah. And now that I think about it, I’m guessing it was someone watching Luke. That was back when your dad was having you followed.”

  Luke’s expression morphed into a guilt-ridden one. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I’m just glad everything with your dad is over.” Although the minute I said the words, I wished I could take them back. Things with Luke’s dad might never truly be over for him. They weren’t for me with my dad. At least not in my own head.

  “You’re sure it wasn’t your father?” Richard asked again.

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay.” He let out a relieved breath, but the aggravated lines across his forehead weren’t going away. “I just couldn’t take it if he…”

  “I know.”

  “If that man ever comes near you…”

  “He won’t.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I guess I don’t, really. I always figured if I ever did see him again, it would be because I looked for him.”

  Richard reached for my hand and held it between his. They were quiet for several beats. I expected Richard to push, ask if I wanted to find my dad, ask if I’d been considering that lately, which was the truth. Instead he asked, “You want to tell us what happened after that camping trip? You’ve never really talked about what he put you through.”

  I wasn’t sure I could get the words out, even to them. “I rarely think about that part anymore. Even after going to the park, I’m not sure why he’s been on my mind so much lately.”

  “When a memory resurfaces, it can open old wounds.”

  “Yeah, I guess. What’s bothered me the most is that I never told my mom what happened.”

  “She doesn’t know?” Luke asked. “I always assumed she was the one who made him leave because he was hitting you.”

  “She knew he’d been drinking. But the yelling, the slaps, the shoves, all the times he hit me, that all happened when I was alone with him. She said she didn’t like how he was starting to change, to drink heavily, becoming more like his dad, so she told him he had to get help or he had to leave. Those were his only options. I guess he didn’t want to get better. He just walked away. He didn’t even consider getting help. She thought she was saving me from the kind of violence my dad lived through when he was a kid. She didn’t know it had already started. I’d gotten good at hiding the results of our fights from her.”

  Richard’s voice was stern but caring as he said, “They weren’t fights, Matthew. He abused you.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you? Because I’m beginning to wonder if maybe you never really dealt with all this.”

  “No, I have.”

  He didn’t look like he believed that. Luke either.

  “I’m okay about it. Really, I am. It was a long time ago. I just… there’s a part of me that hates that I’ve kept this from my mom for so long. I feel like I’m lying to her.”

  Luke said, “It’s never too late to say something to her, if that’s what you want to do.”

  “Right,” Richard agreed. “Might do you some good to talk about it with her. You’ve been keeping this inside for far too long.”

  “Yeah, I guess. But I don’t want to hurt her. She’d want to know the specifics, what he did, how he hurt me. I couldn’t tell her all that. It would break her heart.”

  Richard nodded, then lowered his eyelids as he sucked in an unsteady breath. “I hate both of your fucking fathers. With everything I am. If I could—” He shook his head in frustration. When he opened his eyes again, they held a haunted look of despair, and the aggravated lines were back across his forehead.

  I reached up and ran my thumb over that furrowed brow as if I could smooth away the hurt and anger with just my touch. And maybe I could. His expression softened, and he smiled at me in thanks.

  I wanted to drop this conversation and pick up where we’d left off before the dinner with my mom, but I also wanted—needed—one of them to make the first move the next time. So instead I asked him, “Do you think I look too young?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Maybe that’s why no one wants to hire me.”

  Luke snorted. “That’s ridiculous.”

  “Maybe not.” I picked at a loose thread on the comforter beside me. “I think I should get my hair cut. Just in case. So I look more professional.”

  Now it was Luke’s forehead that was all scrunched up. “You don’t need to cut your fucking hair. You look great the way you are.”

  Without a moment’s hesitation, Richard reached out and tugged me to him again so I was snuggled against his chest, my head tucked under his chin. “He’s right. You’re perfect. And you’re going to get a job soon. The right job for you. So try not to worry so much.”

  He’d barely finished the words when Luke slid in close, his arm around my waist. “You know it’s gotten bad, Matthew, when Richard’s giving advice about not worrying so much.”

  I laughed. “Yeah.”

  He kissed my cheek, and with his lips against my skin he said, “Any place will be lucky to have you.”

  I sighed and settled into their warm embrace. “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”

  Luke grunted a low sound. “Good thing you never have to find out.”

  “Exactly,” Richard agreed.

  I reveled in their touches as much as their words, until we were all yawning and ready for sleep. We climbed under the covers, and they held me between them again. Exhaustion from talking about my dad drew me into sleep quickly.

  * * * * *

  The next morning I awoke to find Richard leaning over me. “You sleep okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  He gave me a soft look. “Good. I made breakfast.”

  “Is it burnt?”

  “No.”

  “Is it gross?”

  He snorted out a laugh. “No.”

  “Did you order takeout from Happy Larry’s?” It was his favorite place to have breakfast.

  “I may have.”

  I laughed again.

  He traced a path across my forehead, swiping several strands of my hair aside. “It’s not fair. You know all my secrets.”

  “Do I?”

  He nodded with another laugh, but then he must’ve got that I was serious. “Yeah, you do.”

  “Do we know Luke’s?”

  “I think so. And if not, it’s not intentional.” He supported the back of my head and lifted me up for a long, drawn-out kiss.

  After we parted, I said, “We better wake him and go eat your home-cooked breakfast before it gets cold.” We both looked Luke’s way. Still asleep, he lay on his stomach, his arms wrapped around his pillow.

  We shifted so we lay facing him, Richard spooning me, an arm across my chest. He rested his chin on my shoulder. “How should we wake him?”

  “Hmmm. How about…” I reached for the comforter and slid it down Luke’s upper body, revealing the taut muscles of his shoulders and back. “Let’s tickle his feet.”

  Richard chuckled and held me tighter to him. “Perfect.”

  Just then Luke groaned and stretched, tightening his hold on the pillow, his eyes still closed. “You guys suck.”

  I shook my head. “Nope, we said nothing about sucking any part of you.”

  “Especially not your feet,” Richard added in disgust.

  I turned toward him and buried my face in his neck, laughing more. A second later Luke snuggled in beside me, their warm bodies holding me close, just like the night before.

  We were all quiet for several breaths. Then Luke lifted his head. “When are we getting our surprise?”

>   “Soon.”

  “Soon? Not now?” He groaned and rolled onto his back. “Seriously? We still have to wait?”

  I laughed more. I had no idea what Richard wanted to surprise us with, but it didn’t matter. Not really. Because I already had the best life anyone could ask for.

  Richard was right. I really needed to stop worrying so much.

  The three of us were going to get things back on track, we already were in some ways, and I’d done the best I could at my interview. If I didn’t get this internship, I’d eventually get another one. Everything else was in the past. And the past didn’t matter anymore.

  It was the future that did.

  Which had me thinking about what was hidden in a drawer in our bathroom.

  Why couldn’t I show it to them? What was I afraid of? Did I really think it could ruin things for us? Was that even possible?

  Chapter Nine

  As I stepped inside our house, I dropped my backpack by the door, and it thudded against the hardwood floor. I had checked out half a dozen books at the public library. Maps of Majestic Falls State Park, information on the care and rehabilitation of local wildlife, and various guides on hiking and how to navigate by map and compass. The latter Alex had mentioned during my interview as a necessary skill, since one of the job’s requirements would be to hike through the park to recover injured wildlife. I’d also found loads of new articles and videos online. I couldn’t wait to dig into the rest of the materials. I’d read a ton of information before and since my interview, but it didn’t feel like enough. I wanted to learn everything I could in case I got the job.

  Although, I wasn’t sure that was still a possibility. I hadn’t heard back from Alex at Windtree yet. It had been two weeks since my interview, and every excruciatingly slow day since then, I’d been at home alone, waiting for the phone to ring.

  Most mornings I put in a few hours at the kennel, but with my classes finished for the semester, I was left with all kinds of free time. At first, I tried to distract myself by taking Trixie on long walks, playing Real Racing on my phone, and reading wildlife rehab articles online.

  That lasted three days. Then I was left waiting again.

  The nights were agonizingly long too. For the past two weeks, either Richard or Luke, or both, had to work late, getting home just before we usually turned in. We hadn’t had a chance to talk all that much, let alone anything else. We also hadn’t gotten to see Richard’s surprise yet.

  Feeling disheartened, I decided to skip dinner with my mom for the second time in a row. As I made the call to her, I tried to tell myself that I wasn’t avoiding her, but by the time I’d hung up, there was no denying it. If I went over there, she’d want to talk about my dad. Despite that I’d been the one to bring him up, I wasn’t sure I wanted to have one more conversation about him.

  I tried to ignore that thought as I closed the door behind me.

  As usual, Trixie greeted me in the front hall. I gave her scratches behind the ear, and together we headed into the living room. Luke lay on his side on the couch. He had his eyes closed, one arm tucked under his head and his other hand slid between his knees. His laptop sat open on the coffee table. He’d probably dug right back into his work as soon as he’d gotten home. He really needed to take some time off.

  I went to the hall closet, got out one of the afghans my mom had made for us, and returned to lay it over him. There was a vulnerability to Luke when he slept that I rarely got to see when he was awake. Richard and I were the only two people who ever saw him like this, so I just stood there for a minute, taking it all in.

  Eventually I made my way to the back of the house. I took Trixie outside and played with her in the backyard until even her nearly unending puppy energy was spent. When we returned to the kitchen, I found a pot of vegetable soup—the only completely homemade dish Luke ever made on his own—on the stove. Beside that was a cutting board with a pile of veggies that hadn’t made it into the soup yet, like he’d left in the middle of making dinner so he could get back to work. He’d probably had an idea for something he wanted to add to his latest programming project.

  The burner was off. I turned it on and added the vegetables. Standing at the sink washing my hands, I heard the front door open. A few seconds later Richard came into the room.

  He wound his arms around my shoulders, snuggling up behind me. He kissed my cheek. “How was your day?”

  “Good. I learned a lot.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I really want to work there even more now.”

  He kissed me again, then let go of me and leaned against the counter beside me. “I think you’ll get the chance. I’ve still got a good feeling about this one.”

  I dried my hands on a towel. “Thanks. But I’m thinking he would’ve called already if I was the top pick.”

  “Don’t give up hope. Not until you find out for sure.”

  “Yeah. Guess there’s no point in worrying. I can’t change anything now.”

  He kissed my cheek again. “Where’s Luke?”

  “He’s napping on the couch. He started dinner.”

  Richard tilted his head toward the hallway. “Come on.” He took my hand and led me to the couch where we stopped and did the same as I’d done earlier, just stood there watching Luke sleep. Richard whispered, “He’s pretty cute when he sleeps.”

  “Yeah, he is.”

  “He’s been so exhausted lately.”

  “He’s working too hard.”

  “I think it’s more than that.”

  I gave him a questioning look.

  “He’s been worrying a lot.”

  “About what?”

  “You.”

  “Me?”

  “Sure. You’ve been under a lot of stress the last few weeks. What causes you anxiety affects him.”

  I looked back to Luke.

  Richard moved around behind me so he held me as he’d done in the kitchen, his cheek pressed against the side of my head. “Don’t you get stressed out when he is?”

  “Yeah.” There was a hitch in my voice I couldn’t control.

  “Hey. It’s okay. I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. Just wanted you to know that you’ve been on his mind a lot. He loves you.”

  I nodded.

  “So if he’s sleeping more or seems on edge sometimes, try not to worry. It’s temporary.”

  “Okay.” I had a feeling he wasn’t just talking about Luke. I laid a hand on the arm he had across my chest. We stayed like that for a minute, saying nothing. Then I had another thought. “Stress doesn’t just make him sleepy.”

  Richard laughed, a deep rumble I’d never tire of hearing. “Nope. Not just sleepy.”

  “It also makes him horny.”

  “Yep. That’s our Luke. Sex is his security blanket.”

  I laughed too. “I don’t mind. But…”

  “What?”

  “You really think sex can go back to the way it used to be for us?”

  “Absolutely. I’m sorry I didn’t realize he was struggling with this.”

  I peered over my shoulder at him. “You were too.”

  “I’m not anymore.”

  We exchanged a long look. Was he just saying that to make me feel better?

  Before I could ask, Luke drew in a deep breath and shifted to lie on his back. Slowly his eyes fluttered open, then widened as he took in the sight of us standing beside the couch, watching him. “Creepy much?” He lifted up onto his elbow and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Were you watching me sleep again?”

  “Yep,” I said.

  He raised his brows at us. “How often do you guys do that?”

  Richard and I exchanged a glance.

  “What do you think, Matthew? Three times a week?”

  “I think it’s more like four or five.”

  “That’s right. I forgot about all the mornings we set the alarm early just so we can get up and watch him.”

  Luke rolled his eyes. “Great. I married a couple of
freaks.”

  We both stood there in shocked silence, beaming down at him.

  He squinted up at us in return. “What?”

  Richard pointed at him. “Don’t ever stop saying shit like that.”

  “What shit?”

  With a huge grin still plastered on his face, Richard started for the hall. “I’m going to set the table for dinner.”

  “What shit?” Luke called after him.

  I bent down and gave him a kiss. “You called us married.”

  “Oh jeez.” He dropped back down to lie on the couch. “I really need to think before I speak.”

  I shook my head. “Nope. No thinking. You’re at your best when you don’t think.” I laughed as I headed for the kitchen.

  * * * * *

  When we were wrapping up dinner an hour later, Richard set his napkin on the table and asked, “So, you guys ready for your surprise?”

  Luke sank back in his chair with an exaggerated groan. “Finally!”

  Richard got up from the table. “Close your eyes.”

  Luke shot a curious look to me, then one across the table to Richard. “Is this about to get kinky?”

  “No.” Richard folded his arms across his chest. “Are you going to close your eyes or not?”

  “Only if you promise to do kinky shit to me while they’re closed.”

  This time Richard silently, stoically stood there, eyebrows raised.

  I leaned in to Luke’s side. “You better quit teasing him.”

  Richard nodded. “You want your surprise?”

  Apparently Luke wasn’t done playing. “You going to make me beg for it?”

  Richard’s brows climbed higher. He lowered his arms and sauntered around the table. Then he pulled Luke to his feet and backed him to the kitchen wall. Grasping Luke’s wrists, he raised his arms over his head, pinning them to the wall above Luke’s head. “Would you like that? Because you know I can make you beg all night. I’ll make you beg and squirm and scream, and then only I’ll decide when and how you get to have it. You want that?”

  “Yes.” Luke bucked his hips, seeking out contact.

  “Well…” Unrelenting, Richard leaned in, pressing his groin against Luke’s. He rotated his hips in slow circles, mercilessly rubbing their clothed cocks together. “We’ll need to see what we can do about that. Soon.” He held there for a few seconds more, then let go of him and stepped back. “But right now, the surprise. Wait here.” He headed out of the room, leaving Luke leaning against the wall, panting, his eyes wide, an obvious bulge at the front of his slacks.